customersucktionaryfandomcom-20200214-history
Entitlement
Some customers like to bypass civility, politeness and decency, and just march into your establishment acting like they own the place, demanding the unreasonable at bargain basement prices. They don't say sorry, they don't say please, they just bark orders and treat employees like dog shit. In the words of one customer, "You guys should be bending over backwards to help me." When they don't get their way, they often resort to Customer_Threat and eventually it becomes a Sup_Call. Also see ESB Common justifications: *"Because I'm the customer!" (No further explanation) *"The customer is always right." (Whoever it was that coined this cute quotation deserves to be buried up to his neck in scorpions. After all, I'm technically a customer). *"Well, Company X does it!" *"Word of mouth is the best business you can have." *"You should stand behind your product!" *It's not their fault, it's ours, even if it's their fault. *Because "they already have to pay that much in shipping". *Because she had a baby. *Literalitis. *Because they're the greatest Mexican karaoke singer in the world, and you don't want to ruin their business. *Because they registered an online gift registry, and the company is supposed to give them royal service without charging them a cent, because they're part of that elite club. (Ironic, because rednecks use them as well, and they put toilet seats on their registry). *Because the item was supposed to fit like a glove, and it fit like a tent, even though they themselves selected the item. *Because sale prices are a right, not a privilege. *The picture on the website was "an incorrect color" and so it's our fault that the sofa doesn't match the drapes. (Even though their monitor was dug out of a garbage can). *We told the customer that an outfit would fit them and it didn't, and so they somehow deserve special treatment because "it's all our fault." *Another representative told them they could have whatever they want, and that rep's word is gospel if it suits their interests. *They "spend thousands of dollars" at your establishment. (Often a quick glance in their account will show just a couple purchases that barely reach $300). *Because they didn't want the order canceled. *Because they didn't want the order. *Because we're in a recession. *Because they have a divine, inalienable right to have matching makeup and clothes and furniture. (Cue the pipers playing Yankee Doodle!) *Because they're Canadian (and your company is prejudiced). *MCR *TNSTABD *They "deserve it" due to being "such a good customer." If they were such a "good customer", they wouldn't sit on the phone for five hours yelling insults about my mother just because I didn't give them their damn refund. If they meant "good" as in "paying", see above. *They "deserve it" due to them being a "loyal customer". (See above. Buying one $20 item one time per year does not garner enough sympathy to support your abusive behavior). *They "deserve it" because they were "confused" about company policies, or confused about something else, and it made their brain hurt. *They "deserve it" because of the emotional stress they experienced while attempting Getting_One_Over. *They "deserve it" because they were stressed out due to worrying about a Ghost_Order. *"It's in the interest of fairness." ("I must say that I am outraged, and I feel cheated. I think that it would be fair to credit the $12 difference back to my account.") "Fair" is a subjective word. The company isn't legally required to be "fair" if they don't choose to. But some think that appealing to some ideal of "fairness" will accomplish something in and of itself. *They "deserve it" for all the hard work they did. Of course, "hard work" includes: **Memorizing the phone tree and hanging on the phone line until they got to speak to a representative. **Waiting on hold. **Arguing with representative after representative. **Driving fifty miles to a store that carries the desired item only to find out it's not there, forgetting there's a tool that would have saved them the effort. **Arguing with everyone in the store. **Heaving a two pound box to the returns center and heaving it back home after they said it wasn't returnable. **Screwing two bolts on a table. **Checking the site every day ("Doing the legwork for your product"). **Working hard to try to log into the server, sometimes "for hours." Examples: *A man once sent me an e-mail saying he wouldn't shop at my store again if we didn't fix the entry form on an internet contest we were having. So you'll never shop with us because you can't register to win a thousand dollar giftcard? Gee, that really hurts. *A woman was told by a representative that an eyebrow pencil sharpener would work with her eyebrow pencil and it didn't. Because of this, she wants credit for the return shipping, free shipping on her next order, possibly a free order, all of which is more than the amount of her original purchase.